Padarot jūs nepievilcīgu, tādi cilvēki labāk izskatās uz jūsu fona.
Ja jums ir nācies sastapt emocionālo varmāku, jūs zināsiet, cik ļoti nogurdina
saskarsme ar viņu. Emocionālā vardarbība attiecībās kaitē divu iemeslu dēļ:
pirmkārt, to ir grūti atpazīt, jo to pielieto vismīļākie cilvēki; otrkārt, tā sagādā
nedzīstošas rētas.
Visi varmākas uzvedas vienādi. Vienīgais veids, kā izvairīties no psiholoģiskas
vardarbības, – atpazīt to un bēgt pa galvu, pa kaklu. Lūk, dažas tādu cilvēku
īpašības:
Viņi neatbild par savu rīcību
Upura sejas izteiksme viņiem ir kā dopamīna injekcija. Varmākas aukstasinīga savas
vainas noliegšana ar laiku liek upurim šaubīties par savu adekvātumu un pasaules
uzskatiem, lai cik pareizi tie būtu.
Viņu uzpildās ar enerģiju, kuru izsūc no citiem
Stumjot jūs tuvāk bezdibeņa malai un apzinoties savu autoritāti, varmākas jūtas
zirgā.
Saprotot, ko nozīmē viņa labvēlība upurim, viņš to kritizē par neesošiem trūkumiem,
gūst gandarījumu no pazemošanas un atstāj ievainotu. Tas viss novārdzina fiziski un
emocionāli.
Viņi neprot komunicēt
Emocionāls varmāka jūs pievilina ar savu klusēšanu un apbur, turpinot vilkt tīklus.
Tas ir viens no vienkāršākajiem veidiem atklāt varmāku. Un, pat ja viņš runā, tā
noteikti būs episka sāga par viņa varoņdarbiem, lai cik arī niecīgi tie būtu.
Viņi skalda un valda
Varmāka izolē jūs no jebkura emocionāla atbalsta draugu, radu vai kolēģu veidolā, jo
vēlas jūs pakļaut sev un neļaut atmaskot viņa spēli.
Viņi nerunā par savu pagātni
Turklāt mēģina pārliecināt, ka agrāk viņi paši ir bijuši upuri, tāpēc tagad izvēlas labāk
klusēt, “lai nebūtu jāatceras pagātne”.
Viņi tēlo upuri
Iepriekšējā punkta turpinājums. Varmāka vienmēr izliekas par upuri: viņš nesaņem
to, ko vēlas (lai gan patiesībā viss ir tieši otrādi) un tikai viņš ir gatavs kompromisiem
(lai gan nemaz nav gatavs).
Viņi nekontrolē emocijas
Pat necentieties strīdēties ar tādiem cilvēkiem, ja jūsu viedokļi atšķiras: atliek tikai
izrādīt, ka jūs nepiekrītat, kā viņi liks jums par to nožēlot. Pat nešaubieties. Ar
kliegšanu, asarām un histērijām viņi savu panāks.
Viņi skatās uz jums no augšas
Tas tāpēc, lai paliktu nozīmīgi, valdonīgi un tikumīgi uz jūsu fona.
Viņi ir ideāli, un tas netiek apspriests
Tik pamēģiniet aptraipīt viņu tēlu, viņi uz jums uzēdīsies, kamēr neatjaunos savu
nevainojamību, neaizskaramību un nepārspējamību.
Viņiem ir neticami svarīgs savs tēls
Jūs zaudēsiet jebkurā gadījumā. Lai vai kādi būtu jūsu panākumi, jūs nekad nebūsiet
ideāli, un viņi jums to pierādīs. Izskaidrojums ir ļoti vienkāršs: padarot jūs
nepievilcīgu, viņi labāk izskatās uz jūsu fona.
Jūs esat vienkārši bandinieks viņu spēlē
Jūs viņiem esat vajadzīgi, lai apmierinātu viņu vajadzības un vēlmes, un būtu viņu
pakalpiņi. Jūs viņu priekšā būsiet viscaur pazemīgi un dalīsieties savā enerģijā, līdz
iekšēji pilnībā izdegsiet.
Viņiem ir grūtības ar komplimentiem
Ja slavē kādu citu, viņi noteikti norādīs uz tā cilvēka trūkumiem, liekot viņam
apšaubīt, ka viņš ir pelnījis komplimentus.
Sev adresētas uzslavas viņi ir gatavi klausīties bezgalīgi.
Viņi atrod attaisnojumu visam, ko dara
Viņu vārdiem un darbiem vienmēr “ir iemesls”. Jūs paši esiet pelnījuši to murgu, kurā
nonācāt viņu dēļ: un ne jau tāpēc, ka viņi būtu slikti, bet tāpēc, ka jūs “paši
uzprasījāties”.
Viņiem patīk drāma
Varmākas un narcisi labprāt noraugās konfliktos, kurus paši ir provocējuši, un jūtas
gandarīti par to, kādu troksni ir sacēluši. Viņiem patīk būt uzmanības centrā.
Tagad jūs spēsiet pamanīt pazīmes un izsvītrot šos cilvēkus no savas dzīves, kamēr
nav par vēlu.
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When I originally left a comment I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now each time a comment is added I recieve 4 emails with the same comment. There has to be an easy method you are able to remove me from that service? Kudos!
After I initially commented I seem to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on whenever a comment is added I receive four emails with the exact same comment. Is there a means you are able to remove me from that service? Kudos!
After I initially commented I appear to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on whenever a comment is added I recieve 4 emails with the same comment. Perhaps there is an easy method you can remove me from that service? Appreciate it!
After I initially commented I appear to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on each time a comment is added I recieve 4 emails with the exact same comment. Perhaps there is a way you are able to remove me from that service? Thank you!
After I initially left a comment I seem to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on whenever a comment is added I recieve four emails with the same comment. Perhaps there is an easy method you are able to remove me from that service? Thanks!
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